SUCK IT UP

When I was a boy, Mum had a sure fire, annoying response to all of my valid boyish whining. ‘Mum, there’s nothing to do,’ I’d moan. ‘Go outside and play in the sunshine!’ ‘Mum, I’m hungry.’ ‘Grab an apple and go outside and play in the sunshine!’ ‘Mum, can I watch something on our black …

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THE CATHOUSE AND THE DOGHOUSE

We’ve had two houses for the long weekend, and I quite like it. I can see why rich people have a house in the city and a house in the country, or down the coast. You can leave one version of yourself behind, dishes in the dishwasher, bills to pay, brats in private schools, and …

DOWN AT KARDINIA PARK

Spring has well sprung. The smell of jasmine and wisteria is in the air. The sweet pea seeds I harvested off last year’s trellis have all taken and soon our garden will be an even madder tangle of colour. The nasturtium seeds I tossed on the cliff edge have naturalised and gone berserk. There are …

LOST AND FOUND

I probably shouldn’t have been wearing my WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? T-shirt. We were at the Broadway shopping centre to do what Robinson calls one of our ‘big shops’ where we buy heavy things like rice and cooking oil and bottled water. We went in the car, instead of walking. Always, always walking. As …

HOW TO BE OLD

When I was a boy the surest way to predict that someone was a shithouse driver was if they had white hair and a hat. That’s now me. I got a hat with a brim for my birthday back in May. I love it. I already had the white hair. Now I’m that silver fox …